how to talk about STI’s at a party
Whether you’re brand new here, or it’s your 764th party, STI’s are a part of the sexual world. I’d like to start this post by saying very clearly that if you’re a sexually active adult, poly or monogamous, being informed and educated on STI health is a pretty big must.
Most of us will run into someone who discloses their status with us at some point, or we’ll be the one to do it. If someone sharing this information with you sends you into a tailspin on webMD, I would say maybe parties are not for you. Being informed can help keep you safe, and everyone else. Not to mention comfortable.
If someone discloses their status to you, be respectful.
If you have questions, Ask! And… Be respectful. If you’re not interested, be respectful. We’re adults here, and shame has no place at our parties. If you have an STI, sharing the info with a possible play partner is important. If someone treats this information badly, let one our staff, hosts, or guardians know.
Please also note we do not use shame-based language to discuss STI’s here at FWB. Here is the excerpt from our groud rules that we recommend you take to heart:
The majority of us will have an STI in our lifetime. We aim to foster a culture where people openly discuss sexual health and practice informed consent. Do not refer to negative STI results as “clean.” Don’t make jokes about STIs or people with them. Decide your risk tolerance when engaging in play, and if someone discloses a positive STI result, do not shame or disparage them.
Ways to reduce risk:
The biggest way? Talk! And be educated on them in the first place. Ask questions and see what feels good for everyone! Maybe you don’t feel comfortable with genital touch, but you’d love to make out! That’s great. There are a lot of ways to enjoy each other that keeps everyone feeling safe. Make sure play areas are wiped down and sanitized (when applicable), and you can use a pad on the beds (or anywhere else you please)! Condoms condoms condoms! We have dental dams and finger covers as well. There are plenty of safe options for all types of play.
If you play with someone who has an STI, we would lovingly recommend sharing that with anyone else you play with that evening, without outing the person who disclosed it to you. We’re all about informed consent, and we want everyone to have a great night.
