how to ask for consent

You’re at a play party. 

You’re making connections and feeling inspired.

The clock is ticking, and the window for playtime is opening soon.

What now???

Our parties are designed for curious, interesting people to connect. Whether it’s someone you’ve met before or not, it’s always important to re-establish their interest and consent. Consent is important no matter what the relationship or situation. Here are some key things to keep in mind:

Consent should be enthusiastic! 

All parties should be genuinely into what's happening - not just going along with it. Look for smiles, positive affirmations, verbal cues, and signals that someone is having a good time.

Timing is everything.

Find someone that catches your eye? Find a time to approach that’s not obtrusive. If the person is in the middle of a conversation, pause before jumping in and try to find a natural in or a visual or verbal cue to join. 

Consent needs to be ongoing. 

Check-ins are important! Even if someone was into an activity earlier, check back in periodically to make sure they still are. Things can change quickly. Silence or ambiguity does not equal consent. Each person needs to clearly state their interest, boundaries, and preferences. Don't make assumptions or rely on hints. Say what you mean!

Anyone can revoke consent at ANY time. 

If someone indicates they no longer want to participate - verbally or nonverbally - respect that immediately.

Intoxication impairs the ability to consent. 

If there is any confusion due to substances, it's best to pump the brakes until things are clearer rather than risk crossing a line.

Consent should be clearly communicated, mutual, ongoing and enthusiastic. Let's all commit to upholding standards of care, respect and compassion with our friends (with benefits or otherwise)! Consent and open communication make relationships healthier and safer for everyone.