manifesto

The fwb manifesto is inspired by the principles of Relationship Anarchy, as written in The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy by Andie Nordgren.

  • Forget convention and embrace possibility. FWB is a space for growth, expansion, and joy. Come with an open mind. Ask questions - often, and with interest - of yourself and others. Practice learning about other people, their experiences and ideas.

  • Don’t let fear lead you. Show up authentically. Ask for what you want and need. Express your desires openly. Try new things. Forgive your mistakes. Try on non-conforming relationship configurations. Be open to new people and experiences.

  • Communicate directly, and with empathy. Openly expressing your thoughts and feelings allows others to better understand your perspective to give you what you want and need. Always assume good intent.

    Often, new experiences can be overstimulating or overwhelming. People communicate in different styles and at different paces. Allow room for the people in your life to withdraw to process and recharge. Trust they will express their feelings when they are ready and able.

    For more advice on good communication, check out Taking the War out of our Words and Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

  • Boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves to feel safe. With every experience we get an opportunity to learn about and practice our boundaries. Clearly communicate your boundaries. Respect the boundaries of others.

    Boundaries are living things - what was ok yesterday may not be ok tomorrow. If you’re unsure where someone stands, check in with them. Sometimes context helps, but there is never a requirement to explain why a boundary is in place.

  • Study after study confirms that friendships and meaningful relationships are the most important things for a healthy and fulfilling life.

    While FWB is a sex positive social club, the emphasis is on friends first. We believe all forms of intimacy are equally important and powerful. Allow room for vulnerable conversations, emotional closeness, exchanging of ideas, non-sexual physical touch, eroticism, service, and other forms of affection and pleasure.

  • We live in a world of instant gratification. There’s power in slowing down, being present in your mind and body, and thoughtfully giving and receiving pleasure. What do you desire? What makes you feel good? How do enjoy making other people feel good?

    People look to give and receive different types of pleasure at different levels of intensity. What works for one person, or between people may not work for others.

  • Be open to the magical and unexpected by creating space for inspiration and spontaneity.

    Remember: happiness = reality minus expectations.

  • Rejection is a natural part of life and relationships. Learning to receive rejection with kindness and grace allows space for people to take risks, stay authentic, and feel safe expressing boundaries, wants, and needs. Rejection is usually not personal. Show compassion for yourself, and the person who rejected you.

    Conflict is the catalyst for growth. Differences, misunderstandings, and disagreements allow us to examine our assumptions, biases, and behaviors, discuss them, and work towards a deeper understanding of each other. Healthy conflict is collaborative versus combative. Avoid personal attacks. If you need space to process, take a walk.

    When harm is perpetrated, we practice restorative justice whenever possible.

  • Safety is cultivated by the whole community. While we do everything in our power to create a safe container to play and explore, we rely on our members to actively ensure the safety of themselves and others. If you see something, say something.